Oroboros

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This
is painting is called “Oroboros”. It is my belated birthday present to my
fiance’, Richard. It was inspired by a dream he had in late 2012, of a fantasy
being sucking his own dick conflated with the archetype of the snake eating its
own tail and the Infinity symbol. He told me his dream while we tabled together
at BentCon 3 at the Marriott Hotel in Burbank, California. I did a number of
preliminary sketches as he sat next to me, looking over my shoulder, so to
speak, until we arrived at a design he liked.

The
next stage was cleaning up the drawing until, again, we were both satisfied. I
know I had reached this stage by Xmas ’12, because I recall showing the drawing
at that stage to various guests at that year’s annual Xmas Eve party.

I
scanned the tight drawing into my computer, cleaning it up even more, and
coming up with several different color schemes. Richard chose his favorite.

Now
it was time to do the finished painting. I got the canvas, laid down the
background colors. I wanted it to be black yet translucent, with lots of depth
and subtlety. Richard loved it, and I prepared to paint the figure,
transferring the finished drawing to the prepared canvas.

However,
it was just at this stage that my spouse of 27(?) years, John Callahan, slipped
into a coma and died on Sunday, February 17. I put the painting on hold as I
dealt with John’s death and its aftermath, planning his Memorial, dealing with
his estate, etc.John Callahan Death Announcement;Feb 27 2013

And
then, I had my stroke on April 2nd. I My Near-Death Experience (May 20, 2013)spent 18 days in ICU, 3 weeks in Glendale
Memorial Hospital’s rehabilitation clinic/wing, was released on May 18th. I had
to deal with Richard merging his household with mine, using my work area in the
garage as his overflow storage area and the guest room for my visiting
relatives as they served as caregiver (see links to blogs).

Finally,
Richard moved his shit out of my work area, and my last, lingering family
caregiver bid adieu.  I then had to
undertake the daunting project of cleaning up the garage, moving thing around,
throwing stuff away, so that I could return my workspace into being a space I
could actually work in. I was (and am) still recovering from the April 2^nd
stroke and the debilitation of my left arm, and my lack of stamina.

Having
accomplished all of that, I could then, once again, start work on completing
“Oroboros”. I didn’t know how it would go. Even before the stroke, painting has
always been a fraught experience for me. I do it so seldom that I have to
re-teach myself each time I start a new painting. Add to that the uncertainty over
whether or not I still had, or could recover, all my marbles after the stroke.

And
here you have it; the finished work, all signed and everything. It now hangs
over the bed I share with Richard, a symbol of many things, not the least of
which is my on-going recovery.